Cracker Q&A: Al Pitcher
Time Out thinks Al Pitcher will be one of the Cracker Festival
highlights. He was born in New Zealand, grew up in Wales, lives in
London but pops over to Stockholm at every chance he can get. We warn
you: catch him while ticket prices are still cheap
What makes you funny?
A roast chicken sandwich and a pint of petrol makes me amusing, add pickles and I’m very funny.
When was the last time you cried?
It was when I was cutting onions while pulling nose hairs out, at my granddad’s funeral when watching Schindler’s List.
Does your mother find you funny?
She does, although she is funnier than me. I hope more comedians admit that.
Finish this sentence: A priest, a Rabbi and a comedian walk into a bar…
The barman says: “Is the pope a catholic?” which causes another 2000 years of religious separation.
Tell us something funny
Which is exactly what I get asked at every social situation, even a barbeque can turn nasty when I tell them I’m just here to chat not do a gig. I’ve had sausages thrown at me, loonies over the head, cooking tools offered different orifices. So that can be a sensitive question.
If you weren’t a comedian?
I’d be camel racer. I am obsessed with camels at the moment. Because I’m tall I would never had made it as a jockey, but camel jockeys, that’s a different story, you can be morbidly obese (and they don’t get the hump).
Tell us about your ex
Which one? Oh that one, she was lovely, we were eight, it didn’t really last. I miss our packed lunch meetings though.
Worst joke?
Saddam Hussein’s CDs are in Iraq. You asked.
Most embarrassing moment
I met Bono once and I panicked, I just hugged him and tapped his back like I was burping a small child.
I only get out of bed for…
The toilet. It’s cost me a few thousand bucks but I’ve learnt it’s best to get up and go.
Comedy and what should never mix
Questionnaires. Because they sound funny when I am answering them but I’m incredibly paranoid they won’t be when in print. Was I right?
Person you’d ‘turn’ for
Shane Warne, just to see the shock of the Australian public and my wife’s reaction.
The Israeli-Palestine conflict – laugh your way out of that
I went to the toilet to answer this but it was occupied
Were you a bully or bullied at school?
Sadly, I was the guy behind the bully who went, “yeah, and your mum” and everyone laughed. I was also bullied – I did have very bright red hair when I was a kid.
Best comedy moment
When a show goes great, it doesn’t matter where your career is at, whether someone is reviewing you or if you’re making a group of people piss themselves, that’s a wicked moment.
Who is the funniest person?
Billy Connolly, hands down the funniest comic I’ve ever seen. But some of the characters in the pubs over here run him close. They are properly funny and slightly mental.
Benny Hill or Richard Pryor?
Benny Hill just for the chase scenes. That’s a big fantasy for any bloke, I’m just not sure I could get to that speed.
Most overrated comedians?
No comedian is overrated, they are just misunderstood.
Most overrated joke line
George Bush jokes, we know he’s a tool.
Describe your show
It’s like gathering around a campfire and trying to have the funniest night possible; it’s about saying the wrong thing but celebrating that, it’s interactive and funny.
Sarah Norris
Al Pitcher’s Idiot Wind runs Tue 29 April–Sat 3 May at 9pm and Sun 4 May at 8pm at the Yalumba Wine Bar, Enmore Theatre Adult 20; concs $18.
(02 9550 3666 www.crackercomedy.com)