The full-length Bruno!
We've teased you for long enough so we're finally putting out. Sydney, here is the full-length version of our world exclusive Bruno interview.
By Dan Rookwood
Finally, after all the hype, Brüno came to Sydney for his movie premiere and Time Out after party – and he didn't disappoint.
Over the last few weeks, we have been slowly revealing more and more of our world exclusive interview with Brüno. But we've teased you for long enough so we're finally putting out. Sydney, here is the full-length Bruno...
Miranda Kerr asks: Who is your favourite fashion designer in the world and why?
Ich cannot say because all ze others vill kill themselves, und ich don't vant zere blood on mein hands. Unless zat is zis week's look.
Scarlett Johansson asks: Brüno, how long does it take you to get ready in the morning? It can take a vhile deciding vhat to wear. Once ich took five hours choosing vhich of my little dogs vent best vith my shirt. In ze end zey vere taking up so much time, I had zem put down.
Nicole Richie asks: Who is more talented – Dolce or Gabbana? Ich could not choose. It is like choosing between Paris Hilton und Kim Kardashian.
Kim Kardashian asks: Since you're always on TV, what are your beauty tips to keep you looking so good? Ich put ein pillow in front of ze toilet und sing Bulimian Rhapsody.
Mischa Barton asks: Yourself aside, who is the most fashionable person in the world and why? Ze Pope. Because he just keeps going vith his own look.
Jerry Springer asks: Which religion is the most fashionable? Ich vas going to say Buddhism, but ich could not support ein religion zat encourages over-eating. Zere Pope, Buddha, is so fat he can only vear underpants.
Model agency diva Janice Dickinson asks: Who is the world's hottest model? It vould be Tiger Voods. He looks great in all his golfing outfits, und on top of zat he's President of America.
Designer Wayne Cooper asks: Why are the best designers in the world all men?
Ze same reason zat men give ze best blowjobs - practice.
The Chaser's Chris Taylor asks: Which Sex and the City character are you most like and why?
Ich am most like Carrie because she has ein man's face.
UK fashion designer Sir Paul Smith asks: Who is your style icon? Ich am always inspired by amazing people. Like vhen Princess Diana visited zose African children vith ze landmines. Ich vas inspired to be as thin as zem.
Sixties supermodel and America's Next Top Model judge Twiggy asks: What will be the hot look of 2010 in your opinion? Ich vould like to be vearing ze thighs of ein young Brad Pitt clone.
Former British heavyweight boxer Frank Bruno asks: Which Bruno would win a boxing match – me or you? Me. Ich have fought harder over belts zan you ever did!
Lauren Weisberger, author of The Devil Wears Prada, asks: How do you cope with a bad hair day? Ich don't know. Ich hast never had one.
Australia's Next Top Model presenter Jonathan Pease asks: You meet Karl Lagerfeld at a party – what is the first thing you ask him?
Ich vould say "Ve are so similar – you have hair like a pony, und ich am hung like ein horse!"
Celebrity hairdresser Brad Ngata asks: Blonde mohawk to floppy highlights - where is your hair going next?
Predicting vhat ich vill do vith mein hair is like trying to predict ze weather. It cannot be done.
The Office's Rainn Wilson asks: What colour is Tuesday? Vell Tuesday is mein colonic day, so for me it's every colour of ze rainbow!
Perez Hilton asks: You called your baby OJ. What other names were in the running? Pimp Baby. Ebony Spirit. Nubian.
Dita Von Teese asks: To what lengths would you go to get into a hot party? Ich hid in ein discoball und rolled my vay up a disabled ramp into ein pool party vhere I nearly drowned.
US TV presenter Melissa Rivers asks: Who in the world most needs a Brüno fashion makeover? Piers Morgan. Always ze white shirt und ze blue suit und ze ruddy face. He looks like ein postman who has had his bike stolen.
Joan Rivers asks: Who the hell is Brüno? Who is Brüno? Zat is fine coming from you. You've had so much surgery ze question should be: "Vhat is Joan Rivers?"
LeAnn Rimes asks: What's been your worst fashion disaster? Ich bought ein pair of parachute trousers. Zey worked as trousers, but not as ein parachute.
The Chaser's Julian Morrow asks: Has your neo-post-uber-crypto-retro personal fashion philosophy ever landed you in trouble with the authorities?
Ich had ein problem at customs in New York vhen ich was going through a phase ich called "Taliban Chic".
UK comedian/actor Russell Brand asks: What do you look for in a pair of underpants? Ze usual – cocken, ballen, arschen, luben.
Ashlee Simpson-Wentz asks: Where do you stand on fur? Personally ich don't like it, but if waxing is too painful ich understand.
Simon Cowell asks: Brüno, who is your American Idol? Ich have ein odd crush on Dick Cheney. Ich vould make him walk again.
Britney Spears asks: How do you deal with photographers? If you give zem vhat zey vant zey leave you alone. So I always get out of a limo vith my legs open not vearing any panties.
Justin Hemmes, owner of ivy, asks: If you ran a club, what would the dress code be?
Ich don't care vhat people vear as long as zey are famous. So in Sydney, zat's a pretty empty club.
Nova 969's Rosso asks: Imagine Lindsay Lohan asks you for a date. What do you say?
Nein, you hast ein vaginen like ze waste bin at ein Chinese restaurant.
MTV VJ Ruby Rose asks: What message do you have for the people of Sydney?
Brüno will be in town, come und vorship at my big gay church! Ich vill play your shvantzes like didgeridoos!
Brüno the movie comes very much out on 8 Jul.
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