Out yourself
Three of Sydney's queer personalities take us on the outing that changed their lives in the hope that others may be encouraged by their stories
Courtney Act came out to mum via text message, with unexpected results
Courtney Act (Shane Jenek)
Performer du jour
It was the year 2000, I had been living in Sydney for six months and Mum and Dad were on their way to visit. The time was nigh. At dinner on the first night the topic was skirted around by both parties, and good use was made of the all-you-can-drink wine buffet. The next day I went to work scared and confused about what lay ahead. I went home for lunch and flicked on the TV to be greeted by Touched By An Angel. Not normally a big drinker, I cracked open a bottle of wine in the fridge and began to down it as I cried. I always cry during this show, but this cry was deeper and guttural. Perhaps I would rather live in silence, than deal with the possible pain? At that moment, I punched out a text message to my mother. "Mum I am gay." Send. As my stomach crept through my chest and into my throat, I waited for a reply. Beep Beep. "We love you, see you at dinner." At dinner, it was revealed that Mum used to wax Carlotta's legs and Dad lived with six drag queens back in the 70s. I had created such anguish over the prior six months worrying about coming out. I could not have asked for a better ending.
Steve Ostrow
Author, actor and founder of NYC's Continental Baths
Talk about coming out to family! It was the 70s and I was about to become the most public bisexual male in the United States, possibly the world. Pat Collins was a prominent television reporter who asked Jess, my Mexican boyfriend, Joanne my wife and I to be her guests on her NBC Nationwide interview programme titled Alternative Lifestyles.
At 9am the three of us, with waxed on smiles, were seated in chairs facing the camera. Pat's questioning began. " Steve, are you gay or straight?" she asked rather bluntly.
"Well I don't believe in labels, I think they are for suits," I replied. "When I'm gay, I am as gay as anyone else, and when I'm straight I'm as straight as anyone else, and sometimes I get excited wearing tight underwear riding a trolley car."
Pat was now trying to smile politely. "My philosophy is, why give up 50 per cent of the population?"
Having heard enough from me, Pat turned to Joanne. "So Joanne, how is it for you having your husband also seeing a young man?" Joanne replied, "Oh it's no problem for me, it kind of takes the pressure off."
Pat now turned to Jess: "What can you give a man that a woman can't?"
Jess casually replied, "Well you know, a man and a woman get married and they have children a woman gets busy with the house and the kids and pretty soon she forgets what it is that turns a man on in the first place."
And then speaking directly into the camera, to millions of housewives across the nation Jess purred: "I never forget!" I thought Pat dropped the mic, but somehow she kept her composure. "Well thankyou Joanne, Jess and Steve," she said. "Ladies and gentlemen, that's our show for today, I hope you found it interesting. I know I did. Have a good afternoon."
This was 20 years pre-Oprah. Daytime television has since boldly come of age.
Lyn Doherty
Media Officer for Dykes On Bikes
I realised I was gay in my teens but hadn't come out. At the age of 18 I started living with my girlfriend. She was a little older, tall, great swimmer's shoulders, boyish good looks, you know the type. Whenever my folks were around she became ‘the flatmate'. After six months I thought, "it's time". So when my family was around next I surprised everyone, including myself, by planting this huge smooch on my girlfriend's lips in front of everybody. I turned to my mum, prepared for tears or anger, and told her that Ann was not my flatmate, but my girlfriend. My mother rolled her eyes to the heavens and her only response was: "I may be green but I'm not a lettuce leaf." Nothing more was said. When the relationship finally ended, my mother and sister were devastated and she is still considered part of the family. However, her reaction to my next girlfriend is another show...