Sites for sore eyes
Take a moment to smell the digital roses
THE WILDERNESS DOWNTOWN
It's a simple concept, but it works astonishingly well: this
online video for the new single by the Arcade Fire, 'The Wilderness
Downtown', shows a hooded figure running down a street and stopping
outside a house while
flocks of birds wheel overhead: except that it's your childhood home.
The clip prompts you to enter the address of the
house you grew up in (and also advises you to download Google Chrome,
and
certainly looks better in it, but we've found it works fine in the
latest update of Firefox) and
then uses Google Earth and Google Maps to pull up the appropriate
imagery. It's
a brilliant idea designed to show off the power of Chrome and HTML5, but
be prepared to be swamped by nostalgia and the one-two hit of the
song's emotive
power.
DRUNK HISTORY
Did you know that George Washington was an asshole? Or that Benjamin
Franklin had a thing for the ladies? How about the slaughter of animals
perpetrated by Thomas Edison in the name of destroying alternating
current? History is a fascinating subject, unfortunately rendered bone
dry by the unending queue of scholars looking to dissect it. Thankfully,
the past has been snatched back from the academics and handed to a
group who will treat it with much more humanity - the incredibly drunk.
The award-winning short film series Drunk History is the brain child of comedy writer/actor Derek Waters. The premise is
fairly simple - each episode features a comedian or writer retelling a
famous historic tale as best they remember it while completely hammered.
The clips divide themselves between the inebriated narrator and a
period-style recreation of the story, with an impressive list of
Hollywood stars like Will Ferrell, Michael Cera, Zooey Deschanel, Don
Cheadle and more donning powdered wigs and waistcoats. The action
following the voice-over regardless of whatever ridiculous mistakes or
tangents the alcohol causes, so when Jen Kirkman hiccups throughout her
version of exiled slave Oney Judge's life, so do the characters. It's
hilariously informal, strangely informative, and a great proof of just
how effective a sozzled education system might be.
CREASED COMICS
Humour really is one of those truly
subjective art forms. For the younger of us, it's coded elusively in bright
colours and clearly defined geometric shapes whereas for the slightly older it
resides somewhere in that inappropriate ‘please god no' Christmas party
costume. For a select few though, it can be found in the dark and somewhat
twisted world created by artist Brad Neely. Responsible for such viral video
sensations as Washington, The Professor Brothers and Baby Cakes, Neely's comics
and art could easily be compared to The Far Side, or rather The Far Side's
fading belle stay-home fifty-something Xanax-shoveling trophy wife. This is definitely
the sort of thing that could only thrive on the internet. If comics aren't your
thing then you can check out some of the sites original artwork, quotes and
even a section simply titled ‘writings.' With over fifty videos featuring original
content it's easy to burn through your oh so precious bytes and lose track of
time. Once you adjust to the strange world of Neely, he really delivers the
funnies.
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE NOTES
Whether the toilet seat's been left up or you're just tired
of people asking you "which way to the bathroom," there's something intangibly
effective and satisfying about leaving a note or putting up a sign. Perhaps
it's that this unique medium allows the frustrated to realise a level of
passive-aggressiveness unachievable through spoken word. If your housemates
aren't cleaning up after themselves, you don't confront them, you send them a
text, or leave a post-it note. It's a skill that really is it's own payoff and
in order to manufacture a truly excruciatingly painful awkwardness for your
target party you can't afford not to learn from the masters.
Passive Aggressive
Notes is compilation of some of the finest passive aggressive messages that
range from the mundane to the downright obsessive. If you're after a quick
browse you can check out the top rated messages and if you have a couple of
your own to share you can participate
in the broader online community. Next time you get caught on the wrong
side of nasty note giving, don't get mad, just upload.
RAINY MOOD
While there is no escaping the necessity for rain, neither
is there any escaping the fact that it's kind of a drag when it's gray and wet
out. In fact, one of the only highlights of a rainy day is getting to listen to
that gentle, natural white noise caused by falling drops. Thankfully, Rainy
Mood allows you to experience that relaxing sound regardless of the weather.
It's an exceedingly simple site. Load it up, and a 30-minute
continuous loop of rain noise starts, complete with occasional peals of
thunder. However, what it lacks in complexity, it makes up for in
effectiveness. Feeling stressed? Hit Rainy Mood for a while and feel the
tension melt away. Can't sleep? Set your laptop up next to your bed and you'll
be out in no time once Rainy Mood does its thing. You can even use it to
enhance the music you are playing (it might not work so well with pop, but
anything ambient or a sultry jazz number will definitely benefit from a touch
of rain). It's potential is only limited by your imagination, so head over
Rainy Mood and get ready to relax.
LETTERS OF NOTE
Video might not have killed the radio star, but the internet
certainly beat the crap out of the postal system. Free and easy access to
communication has certainly improved our lives, however there is no denying
that some of the magic has been taken out of corresponding with a friend or a
loved one. To revisit the elegance of the scrawled note and the long-winded
letter, take a browse through Letters Of Note.
Ostensibly, L.O.N. is a museum of correspondence. The site
is dedicated to posting scans of letters sent by and between historical
figures, from presidents to famous actors to sports stars. The whole spectrum
of humanity is on there: love, anger, humour, sadness, frustration and more.
Each entry is accompanied by an image of the original letter, a brief
explanation of the context and history surrounding the missive and a
transcription posted beneath. Not only does the site give a personal view into
the past, but also allows a glimpse into the mind of some truly brilliant
individuals.
INTERNET ANAGRAM SERVER
For those of you who were in the back of the class during English, an anagram is formed when you re-arrange the letters of a word or phrase to form another word or phrase. So, ‘nice to meet you' becomes ‘cute eye motion' or ‘coyote untie me' or even ‘icy teen emu too'. Normally the playground of the nerd, the Internet Anagram Server takes the sweat out of this fun word game by doing all the work for you. Type in whatever you want rearranged and with the press of a button you have a list of options. What does this mean for you? Simple - vanity anagrams. Why Google yourself when you can discover that your name can also spell ‘No Hazlenut Java Noel'? In addition to the anagram engine, the site also links to the Anagram Times, a daily blog that scrambles news headlines to reveal comical double meanings. Take a moment out of your busy schedule and give it a try (I target ivy/yeti vat rig).
BETWEEN TWO FERNS
Few people realise what a genius Zach Galifianakis is. Sure, he turned a few heads as the bizarre brother-in-law in The Hangover, but to really appreciate just how crazy and talented he is you have to step outside of Hollywood and head for the internet, specifically his web-based talk show Between Two Ferns. Hosted on Funny or Die, the comedy site set up by Will Ferrell and Adam McKay, Between Two Ferns is shot to resemble a low budget, public access programme. Each episode features a new guest from the showbiz elite (within the space of nine episodes, the likes of Natalie Portman, Charlize Theron and Ben Stiller have all appeared), and a short interview takes place. However, this is where things get a little different.
Galifianakis is the king of awkward comedy. In his role as the host he mispronounces names, gets details wrong, asks ragingly inappropriate questions, drops surreal non-sequiturs and ignores his guests, all accompanied by some of the most intense pauses ever captured on film. The guests do their best to save face but it's almost impossible. Between sneezing repeatedly in Jon Hamm's lap, starting a slap fight with Bradley Cooper or trying to find out whether Michael Cera is ticklish or not, it's teeth-grindingly uncomfortable at times, although you will be laughing too hard to notice.
CUBEECRAFT
It's hard to be a geek these days, what with the rocketing cost of statues and action figures. For the nerd on a budget, Cubeecraft is a dream come true. There are over two hundred figurine designs on the site, with beloved characters from movies, TV shows, video games and comic strips all ready to be printed, cut out and folded. The designs are rated for difficulty, and none of the paper creations require sticky tape or glue. Best of all, they have interchangeable parts, so if you feel that Mayor McCheese would look better with the head of Kermit the Frog, you can achieve your vision. Fire up the printer and create an army of paper playmates for your cubicle or home.
SUPER MARIO CROSSOVER
A lot of people have fond memories of the original Super Mario Bros game on the NES. Sending that small moustachioed plumber (or his taller, yet no less moustachioed brother) bouncing around the Mushroom Kingdom, stomping on turtles and grabbing powerups, was a thrilling adventure when it was released. But what if you had a choice as to who did your digital dirty work? Give Super Mario Crossover a whirl, and you'll find the answer to that question.
Created by programmer Jay Pavlina, SMC is a replica of the original console game, save for one important aspect: you have seven character choices in this updated version. Taken from Nintendo history, you can now play as Link (The Legend Of Zelda), Samus (Metroid), Simon (Castlevania), Bill Rizer (Contra), Ryu (Ninja Gaiden) or Mega Man (uh, Mega Man), as well as Mario. Each of the new additions maintains their strengths from their original games - why jump on a turtle when you can throw an axe or fire an arm cannon at it? - but their integration into Mario Bros feels completely natural. With the option to change characters with each new life or level, as well as a handy save game function, Super Mario Crossover is the perfect online intersection of nostalgia and novelty.
WHAT THE FUCK SHOULD I MAKE FOR DINNER
Let's run through a hypothetical situation: it's the end of a long day at work, and you are exhausted. Phone calls and meetings kept you away from your lunch, your stomach is rumbling, and hunger has clouded your decision-making abilities. You stand under the fluorescent lights in the local supermarket, peering at ingredients, desperately trying to put together a coherent evening meal, leaning ever closer to giving up and ordering something unhealthy for home delivery. Sound familiar? Maybe you should have swung by What the Fuck Should I Make for Dinner before leaving work.
This minimalist site is an engine for culinary inspiration. It offers up a suggested dish for you to prepare, with a link to an online recipe. If you don't like the suggestion you can veto it (‘I don't fucking like that'), at which point a new meal pops and the process starts all over again. There is even an option for vegetarians, naturally provided through a link that reads ‘I don't fucking eat meat'. It's a great web-based idea executed with elegance and simplicity. If the profanity offends you, well, this is the internet and it's all part of the fun. Get clicking, then get cooking.
AXE COP
There is no denying that the internet has given everyone a voice.
Whether it's a blog, a tumblr, a youtube channel or maybe something a
bit more esoteric, self-expression in the public domain has never been
easier. Of course, it's what you do with this voice that matters. Some
people use this power to become amateur critics, some post cat pictures
(okay, many do), and some make the most bad ass comic ever seen - Axe
Cop. The kicker? This voice belongs to a five year old.
Created
by Ethan and Malachai Nicolle, a pair of brothers with a 24-year age
gap, Axe Cop tells the story of the titular hero, a cop who wields an
axe and battles bad guys non-stop alongside his bizarre crime-fighting
team. Malachai, the five-year old, is in charge of the concept, while
Ethan handles the scripting and artistic duties. Illustrated in a
classic comic book style, the strip is packed full of action, tempered
with the sort of logic that can only spring from the mind of an
imaginative child. In addition to the main storyline, there is also an
‘Ask Axe Cop' section where reader questions are answered by Axe Cop
himself in a suitably surreal and hilarious fashion. The site updates
frequently, and with a sizable archive of strips already available it's a
great way to laugh for an entire afternoon.
GREAT SHOWDOWNS
One benefit of having the internet almost permanently (not
long until Steve Jobs invents the iSleep, you heard it here first) is that it
can be used to fill those dozens of small periods during the day when you're
necessarily idle. Bus rides, waiting for lifts, dinner's finished but dessert
isn't back from the convenience store yet - these are moments in which nothing
truly productive can be achieved. Thus, it's important to have a good roster of
online momentary diversions to keep you entertained. Why not give Great
Showdowns a spin?
Created by Scott Campbell, a San Francisco based artist who
works for the boutique game studio Double Fine as well as exhibiting and
publishing his own art and comics, Great Showdowns is a daily depiction of a
classic battle of wills from somewhere in film history. Part comic strip and
part art project, Campbell
uses a cute, minimalist aesthetic to portray the antagonists in a happier
light, glad that their struggle has assured them lasting fame. Each entry is
accompanied by a fragment of dialogue taken from the movie, which can be
helpful to identify any you might not have seen.
Great Showdowns is a small dose of handdrawn pop culture, capturing
films in a humourous snapshot of conflict that inspires nostalgia for great
stories shared in cinemas or on the couch with friends and families. With a
large archive already available, as well as links to prints of the series for
sale (Christmas is coming), it's a great time filler and worth bookmarking for
your daily internet meandering.
SARIEN.NET
Video games are a fickle branch of the entertainment industry. While old television shows and movies find a second life on DVD, and old music bubbles back into popularity thanks to sampling, old games are often left to die once their profitability fades and they are taken from the shelves. Finding a particular game you played as a child can be difficult, and if you are lucky enough to track it down then getting a digital dinosaur to run on a modern computer is nigh impossible. Thankfully, nostalgic nerds around the internet have been working on clever solutions to this problem. One such solution is Sarien.net.
Sarien.net is an online arcade specialising in original Sierra games. In the late 80s and early 90s, Sierra released a range of adventure titles that bring a tear of remembrance to any old school gamer's eye: Police Quest, Space Quest, King's Quest and the Leisure Suit Larry series. Rendered in eye-watering 256 colour graphics, the games were built on a text interface, meaning you moved through the in-game environment while directing your character to OPEN DOOR or KISS GIRL. In bringing them to the internet, Sarien.net have added a few improvements. Right-clicking produces a drop down menu of actions that can help guide you through tricky scenarios; you can jump to specific locations in the same manner, helping circumvent frustrations at having forgotten to pick up a certain item; and a multiplayer function allows you to chat with other people playing the same game.
When compared to modern games, what Sarien.net has to offer seems laughably primitive. However, if you played these games back when they were new it's a chance to relive an era when electronic entertainment relied more on story and humour than killer graphics and action. Take some time out of your busy schedule, and visit some old childhood friends.
